Thursday, December 31, 2009

The End of the Old Year, The Beginning of the New [reflections]

Hello! It’s been a while since I’ve updated the blog, and for all of my fans dying to see my creative writing and razor sharp wit, I’m sorry! I’ve been busy with many things and lots of work just piled up on me, no doubt in part due to my procrastinatory nature. I apologize for not updating bi-weekly like I said I would, and it probably should return to normal soon, but I can’t guarantee anything, so bear with me!

With that said, I would like to talk to you about the end of the year. The end of the year is a special time in most people’s heart. It’s a time to both reflect on time past and think about planning ahead. Many people at this time decide to make resolutions to accomplish during the new year, but of course, most of these goals aren’t met. Oh well. I usually don’t make goals anymore, because what’s the point? You can make goals any time, which I decided to do.

Anyway, what do I think of the new year? Many things. Right now, I’m going through some…….issues. I will be fine, of course, and it’s nothing that’s life threatening or anything like that. However, there are things that I need to think about, things I need to do, and things I need to fix, and some of those things could potentially determine what happens to me and what I do from here on out. I won’t go into too many details here, but I will say that I pray that God will help me with these tough times and for Him to show me what I need to do. And thank you to all those who continually help me go on my way.

As I said, there are many things that I need to think about. However, it’s not all bad! There is a lot I look forward to as well. But before that, I just want to reminisce for a bit. This year has been……..intense. so many things that have happened, and many big changes, both to me and from me. I am no longer the shy kid I used to be. Of course, I am still shy, and it takes time to build self-confidence and social skills (that’s a topic for another time……..maybe). But every day, I work towards my goal to be a better person and be someone that can effectively communicate with my peers. I’ve also become happier. I still can be stubborn and moody, but I’ve managed to make those moments become less and less frequent, and instead been able to be a more calm and cheery person. I’m not a smiler, but I still can share my bit or mirth. As always, my friends have helped me achieve this goal, and so I am grateful, as well as to my family for their support and care. School’s been a blast, even though the work has been continuously been killer, and it’s mostly the physics/math classes. The rest of them are basically jokes. But alas, not everything can be easy. Either way, the fun I have at school makes the schoolwork all worth it. The time I’ve had with my friends have been one of the best times in my life. They are my family away from home and I trust them with things that I trust my family with. Well, there are things that remain with family, but that’s because of things which can really only be shared with family. Still, they are dear to me, and this is the first time I’ve felt so close to a group of former strangers. Before college I only had one best friend but I’m glad to say that I have more best friends now. Things at home have also gotten better. While relations with my parents aren’t the best, but they’ve improved dramatically, and now I think I have a better handle on how to understand and talk to them. Me and my sisters are still close and still help each other even though we fight sometimes. And above all, God has always been behind me, helping me when I’m most lost, so for that, I give Him eternal thanks. For this new year, I’m looking forward to many things, including some of the best times I’ll have in my life. I can’t wait to be one step closer to graduating college and yet I don’t want to leave. It’s all so strange, how life changes on you and in turn you change life. It really makes me think and internalize all that I’ve experienced, and I’m grateful for this chance to experience many things. As long as I keep growing and learning I will keep living and hoping for a better tomorrow and maybe one day I will finally grow into what I am meant to be. But for now, I’m still in the journey, and I want to make sure this journey is a good one.

I wish everyone out there a Happy New Year! May God bless all of you!!!!!!! Enjoy the new year and stay posted for more craziness!

2 comments:

  1. I'm glad that it all worked out for you!

    ReplyDelete