Saturday, July 11, 2009

SPECIAL EDITION: The Many Uses of “Bro”- The Life of Bro, As Told by The Philosophers Over a Game of Magic

Before I begin, I must give a shout out to the funny people on the Persona 4 forum who coined many words with the word “bro” in it (at least, as far as I know…..) A lot funnier if you know the story of the game. Oh, and the MTV show “Bromance” which gave me my first exposure to all things “bro”.

Interesting times I had today, with some of my friends, all while we were enjoying a nice peaceful game of Magic: The Gathering (and by peaceful, I mean a raucous occasion of yelling, cursing, and merrymaking). It started out innocently enough, with me using my supreme Life Gain deck (patent pending) while my friends used their various decks against each other. As we played a game and made jokes, the topic of “bro” came up. I had earlier named one of my friends (who was Ronald, a very cool bro)"Bronald". At that point, my friends decided to dub me “Bronicio” (since my name is Vinicio). After switching to a bigger table to play a game of Allies, we decided to pause for a bit and watch “I’m on A Boat” by the Lonely Island (the same ones who sung the hit “Jizz in My Pants”) and laugh for a bit. Then, game time. I started out with some good cards, and I was setting up my eventual combo of gaining life out the wazoo. I played Goldenglow Moth. My good friend Aaron, in a moment of spontaneity, decided to dub my card “Goldenbro Moth”, to which we laughed heartily. A while later, he played one of his best cards- Blowfly Infestation, which he gave the moniker “Brofly Infestation”, which resulted in us losing it. From then on, we incorporated “bro” into several aspects of the game, like Brotivore (Mortivore) and having the browalk ability (referencing landwalk). It was a fun set of games, and it made for lots of laughs and great memories. As we were bro-ing our day away, it felt like a good bonding experience, not to mention the relaxation of the weekend combined with our favorite pastime Magic.

Today, we went to the beach. But before that, we needed to eat breakfast, and I needed to wake up. As I stuggled to get up, I carried myself to the only dining hall on campus available to us to meet my bro Aaron. While we talked on the way to the parking lot, we chatted about our many uses of “bro” that we had coined prior, and added Brogenitus (Progenitus), with protection from other bros as an ability, to more laughter. As we departed for the beach, he went in the other car while I rode with my friends Jared and Kyle. Fun times. So I fell asleep due to sleeping so late from the Magic last night, and when I woke up, we had lost the other car. Long story short, we caught up with them, and convinced Aaron to join the Bro Patrol. We got to the beach and enjoyed our time there. As we basked in the sun, we witnessed our fellow bros in the air, the brogull (seagull). There was a whole bunch of brogulls who were valiantly fighting to fly through the currents. We even spotted the legendary Elder Brogull, who distinguished himself by his royal brown coloring and his personal fleet of five brogulls protecting him from harm. We then decided to swin. The water was actually very nice, even if really freaking salty. Anyway, we decided to get some food, but since the college student by necessity is a cheap being, us in the Bro Patrol opted to park somewhere cheap, where we only spent two quarters to park, and some seven dollars each to get a couple slices of pizza. More bro bonding time. We finally walked on the boardwalk for a while, till we decided it was a good enough time to get home. We also bought some ice cream at a store called Kohr's Bros. I take this as a divine sign of broness happening, that we were destined to be bros. After we got back, we played – you guessed it – more Magic. The bro words went flying out of our mouths. It was a fun day indeed.

There were a lot of bro things that we said and did, but alas, I cannot recount all of our bro mirth to you. However, this weekend is one of the best I've had in a long time, all with my bros. So peace out, chillax, and have fun with your bros. And sorry for the blog being late, since I wasn't here to make one, but it will be up tomorrow!

And many thanks for the forum again, for making up and/or using such terminology as "Brotagonist" and "Bro Patrol". You guys are hilarious.


  1. That was some good ice cream. By the way, if I were one of those that called you v-man, would these new naming conventions make you bro-man? Because that would be kinda weird.

  2. Probably. I like the way you think.

  3. I feel like the boardwalk should be called the browalk, and since the term is shared with the Magic ability we can safely assume that while we are walking on the browalk, no bros can stand in our way.

    And that bro custard was delicious.

    My god I hope one of the new freshmen is named Joseph. That will make my day.

  4. LOL. This needs to go into the Bros in Translation (or is it Broston Translation?)